if the phone would ring

if the phone would ring, would I answer
or would I stare at it wondering why
or would I sleep through the sound I long to hear
afraid it's another good-bye

if the phone would ring, would I remember
or would I distract myself with a pie
or would I run away to some place all alone
waiting for this body to die

is my heart already dead
silence echos in my head
and ambivalence rules my time

all the words I may have said
like some ancient moldy bread
linger petrified within rhyme

it doesn't seem to matter
connections breaking down
redundancy becoming
the death of a clown
and no one seems to notice
like the homeless on the street
step aside and carry on with life
there's no one here to meet
or greet

if the phone would ring, would I pick up
or would I forget I can even try
or would I ignore the sound that I long to hear
afraid it's another good-bye

if the phone would ring, would I even notice
or would I play with myself on the fly
or would I linger longer some place all alone
waiting for this body to die

is my heart already dead
silence echos in my head
and ambivalence rules my time

all the words I may have said
like some ancient moldy bread
linger petrified within rhyme

it doesn't seem to matter
reflections of a frown
a life alone becoming
the death of a clown
and no one pays attention
like the homeless on the street
step aside and carry on with life
there's no one here to meet
or greet

and still as silent as the deafest ears can hear
a soft refrain in a cold mist slowly echos near
is it hope for something thought to be left far behind
or is it just another pill meant to cure my ailing mind

if the phone would ring, would it matter
there is no way to be sure
the phone can ring somewhere else now
I don't have one any more
I don't have one any more

2004-02-12