My Indifference

After all we've been through from

beginning to end

from the highest of highs to the bottom

and then

to believe in the promise of forever,

friend

how are we back to this moment again?

Was true love just a fantasy

were we addicted to intensity

crossing over to insanity

losing our humanity.

How can we lose touch

when we cared so much

can we care too much?

living dying queen and king

lost within the songs we'd sing

now you return and you tell me

that you are ready for anything.

But in all your vast experience

Maybe the one you were not ready for

was indifference.

-2003-10-20

Carol without Strings

on the back of a xmas carol I write this song...

I suppose I could have forced you in spite of yourself
all I had to do was support you and take all your abuse
I suppose I could have heard you when you said you were a bitch
and all you ever knew was using men like mindlessly scratching an itch

i could have gotten through a lot sooner than this
before I hit the street so hard
you know I made you the queen of everything
and you wanted more, but you couldn't handle being god

queen of sheeba
martyr hari
mother diva
wouldn't marry
you just wanted
everything
heart soul body mind spirit life
without strings

I suppose I could have been stronger in spite of myself
all I had to do was grow up more and rise above your noose
I suppose I could have broken you instead of letting you break me
but you were already so damaged inside that I just let you take me

it could have been much less dramatic than this
before so much life passed by
you know how precious time is to me
and you wanted it all but you couldn't handle eternity

such a waste of time
such a waste of love
did it make you better
to watch it burn?
ashes to ashes
in your wake
will you ever know you are less
with every heart you break
the more you give the more you are
you only have what you take

I'd rather be than own
that is being free... and home
I'd rather give than take
that is knowing love... awake

queen of sheeba
martyr hari
mother diva
wouldn't marry
you just wanted
everything
heart soul body mind spirit life
without strings
lost in your fear you may never hear
or know just what is wrong
but maybe someday you will understand
so on the back of a xmas carol...
I wrote you this song

-February 6, 2008