Ambiviolence

for the ambiviolence

how do I get your attention
scream fuck-you-bitch in your ear?
oh did I forget to mention
I don’t think you really care

how do I expose your abuses
spill more blood and cause more pain?
tighten your necktie-like nooses?
how does one reach the insane?

is blood the only language you can hear?
is pain the only sensation you feel?
is hope a hopeless cause because you fear?
how the hell do I get you to get real?

the way of the world is not working
the message is not getting through
the prophets have come, the prophets have gone
and we still don’t know what to do

the way of the world is not working
how do I get this through to you?
condemn me if it makes you feel any better
but listen to what’s really true

seems as long as nobody bursts your bubbles
you can pretend that everything’s alright
kill or die rather than resolve your troubles
no wonder your dreams only come at night

well you stupid mother fucker
nature has been raped enough
have I gotten your attention?
do I have to be so rough?

you ignore the peaceful prophets
you abuse the kind and meek
you refuse the truth before you
you say turn the other cheek

but your attention’s what I seek
and I won’t get through if I am boring
so shock-words are the words I speak
you’re an expert at ignoring

so now that I have your attention
what are you going to do
spend another day raping your mother
complaining that I offend you

or will you pull your head out of the sand
and open your eyes to what’s true
how many more children will you let die
before you try something new?

the way of the world is not working
the message is not getting through
the prophets have come, the prophets have gone
and we still don’t know what to do

the way of the world is not working
how do I get this through to you?
condemn me if it makes you feel any better
but listen to what’s really true

something o'clock

Her Song

this song's for you

I just want to know
how your day begins
do you rush to the children
do you cuddle with him

do you drag yourself creeping
or love where you are found
do you think of what's missing
or cherish what's around

I just want to know
how you spent your noon
are you watching the tele
are you singing a tune

do you manage your meetings
does your work bring your smile
would you have just a moment
to walk one more mile

I just want to know
how do you feel
what is forgotten
and what is real

for deep in my heart
you'll always have home
whatever you're doing
wherever you roam

I wake up wondering
about all the love
the love I have given
the love I dream of

the love that's still waiting
for someone to share
and how you are doing
cuz I'll always care

if you're ever lonely
or feeling despair
if you need anything
you have a friend here

I hope you are happy
and dreams have come true
and maybe you're smiling
knowing
this song's for you

I just want to know
how your day ends
are you relaxing
is sleep a friend

do you have empty space
s for an old memory
do you ever stop caring
do you think of me

and the love that's still waiting
for someone to share
without hesitating
just living to care

may you never be lonely
or feeling despair
but if you need anything
you have a friend here

I hope you are happy
and dreams have come true
and maybe you're smiling
knowing
this song's for you

2004-05-01 10:50 p.m.

Ode to Toronto

Ode to Toronto 4:02 a.m.

precious place
in spite of the hell
I found there

heaven's grace
in spite of the one
worst-case fear

eyes and face
haunt me when I sleep
when I dream
when I wake

out of place
out of time
point of break

and just like the late show
I passed that point long ago
along with Jackson Browne
and Harry Chapin
Croche, Stevens, John, Joel, and the telling
if roadkill could feel
it would be too real

I just wanted you to know
of a
precious place
Toronto

oh Toronto, such a dream you were
froze me out one bitter December
oh Toronto, I remember her
and the kids, all we did
never ends
oh Toronto, holding my best friends
and worst enemies
taught me of the birds and the bees
and cruelties
oh Toronto, I dream I'm still there
is it a nightmare?
Toronto
my dear
Toronto
I'm still here
you're still there
Toronto
everywhere

the soundtrack of a life
plays in a broken loop
somewhere in time
far away
kept away
such a crime

and just like the late show
I passed that point long ago
along with Sarah Mac
and Tom Chapin
Denver, fill in the blanks and the telling
like the Hotel California
desperado never left ya
cant forget ya

and wherever I go
I just wanted you to know
of a
precious place
Toronto

I just wanted you to know
I still love you
Toronto

- Ode

Shared illusion

look into my eyes and you may begin to see
and if not, ask until you find what you are looking for
but if you want to know the truth that makes me
me you'll have to lose your mind and open every door
trust unconditionally as you never have before
leave behind everything you know
and let go

or we could just agree to pretend...

perhaps that is what it means to be human... and why we write fairy tales
and stories of great experiences and wonders... to reach for the
belonging that comes from complete sharing, complete understanding,
complete bonding, being one with each other... to know the peace of
such trust... perhaps words are a way to a truly universal god-like
experience...

even if it is all just shared illusion.

2004-12-07

Passing by

and I don't have time to feel
and I don't have time to cry
I only have time to laugh
and watch the time passing by

I only have time to laugh
at life as time keeps passing by

I only have time to laugh at life
and watch the time pass by

the TV calls my name
my roommate asks for more
and work demands my time
so I can go to the store
and buy food to cook
and things to use
to keep myself alive
but I wonder about living
as I struggle to survive
I know there's more to life than this
I could not tell you why
I just have time to laugh and watch
as time passes me by

2004-10-25

the charge is: apathy

we should all be arrested
based on our moral laws
the holiest religious man
preach a word that never was
cuz we do not actualize it
we pretend to be good
human beings are parasites
and i wish that i could
say "no, not me"
but i too am swallowed by apathy

living on the edge is the song that plays
shame is hardly felt these days
as connected as the world can be
with mass media and satellite tv
this story hardly made the news
nobody wants to walk in those shoes
i wish i could say, no, not me
but the truth is the truth
even if i don't want to see
we live the crime of apathy

November 25, 2008

Desperation's Child

I walked the stones with Jesus
felt the crushing cross
I drank hemlock with Socrates
and barely felt the loss
I saw the stars with Nicolai
and saw the world go 'round
and felt the condemnation of
the people that I found

stare into the fire
see the dancing flame
minutes become hours
nobody's to blame
everyone's just afraid
to admit or face fear
so sacrifice the truth sayers
so no one is aware

we're all just selfish children
looking out for our own
never finding what we're looking for
cuz it can't be found alone
we're all just lonely children
bitter about our fate
but let's pretend that we don't die
as if the truth can wait

I felt the fire with Moses
and carved the words in stone
I touched the stars with Pericles
and took the fall alone
I saw energy with Albert E.
saw beyond time and space
and felt the emptiness swallow
the hope of the human race

and all there was left
was insecurity
fear of everything
no identity
everyone just gives up
because everyone else does
and pretend the truth sayers
message never was

we're all just selfish children
looking out for our own
never finding what we're looking for
cuz it can't be found alone
we're all just lonely children
bitter about our fate
but let's pretend that it's alright
as if the truth can wait

and I sang with John and Paul
watched the tears, heard the screams
and I prayed with every Pope
felt the fears, felt the need
I am desperation's child
nothing left to say
once I grew free and wild
then I was defiled
now I slowly fade away
I am desperation's child
nothing left to say

-2004