na na na na yhey hey yeah

hello...

turn the world up on it's head
i mean completely upside down
i mean change everything to make it
different than it is
so maybe there will be no way
to control the episode
and the sharing will happen
in spite of the fear
or reservations
or obstacles

and the realizations will finally be accepted
as what is

and there will be no more to dig for
only the moments to share
no more dividers between us
only hearts learning to care
without pause or reservation
with only this simple rhyme
it doesn't matter when or how
let's just do it this time...

it doesn't matter why right now
let's just do it this time :)

so it's not na na na na yhey hey yeah
good bye
no it's turned upside down

it's na na na na hey hey yeah
hello
smiling at the frown

it's na na na na hey hey yeah
hello
a simple little rhyme

it's na na na na hey hey yeah
hello
let's just do it this time :)

February 2010

don't hurt yourself

trying to get this

it'll be here when you get here
even if i am not

10-16-2009

meaningful nothing

meaningful nothing

life is full of noise and most of it is background noise... you decide what is meaningful to you and focus on that and that becomes the noise that matters to you... but from far away, like outer space or somewhere like heaven, it's all background noise...

think about it..

04-13-2009

My kingdom for ...

there i was sitting on the plastic throne
porcelean just got too expensive, you know?
thinking about all the plastic i own
and wondering why i just don't go
if life is worth living like this
in a plastic house making plastic piss
then i wonder if this was god's plan
have you any ideas old man

11-20-2009

A madness kept in words

there used to be
a madness kept in words
and then came silence to
uncover nothing within
but when the door
opened to the heart
the fallout blew the mind
and though alone,
he lived happily ever after...

09-10-2009

Tell me

tell me you see beyond the universe
listen to my sighs
tell me you see everything
in my eyes

tell me you see the truth in my soul print
gently spread my thighs
tell me you see everything
in my eyes

tell me you understand what god meant
where the eagle flies
tell me you see everything
in my eyes

2005-03-08

and I will cry

and I will cry a million tears
for every drop of love that's lost
for ever hope that's dashed or tossed
on pylons jagged with deep fears

and I will sigh a million sighs
for ever breath of love exhaled
for ever dream broke or impaled
on reasons that defy all whys

for I have known the truth that sails
the oceans of an angel's heart
and now I crumble mostly dead
to feel the world tear it apart

will no one stand for innocence
for justice of the holy right
for what any new born cries
for just to be held throughout the night

will no one stop the petulance
of greedy insecure children
grown to power on age old lies
gods corrupted once again

oh I will scream a million years
of hellish promises unspoiled
of virgin rapes ornated oiled
condemn me to express your fears

for I will never close my eyes
to conform to a world of lies
and I will not silence the cries
no matter how much I despise

the victims who still have a choice
the free men who still have a voice
the fools who hide behind their fears
in pious robes on golden stairs

awake, new born
and breath once more
remember what this life is for
the answer is within your core
the love that once made you so sure

2004-02-25

Ambiviolence

for the ambiviolence

how do I get your attention
scream fuck-you-bitch in your ear?
oh did I forget to mention
I don’t think you really care

how do I expose your abuses
spill more blood and cause more pain?
tighten your necktie-like nooses?
how does one reach the insane?

is blood the only language you can hear?
is pain the only sensation you feel?
is hope a hopeless cause because you fear?
how the hell do I get you to get real?

the way of the world is not working
the message is not getting through
the prophets have come, the prophets have gone
and we still don’t know what to do

the way of the world is not working
how do I get this through to you?
condemn me if it makes you feel any better
but listen to what’s really true

seems as long as nobody bursts your bubbles
you can pretend that everything’s alright
kill or die rather than resolve your troubles
no wonder your dreams only come at night

well you stupid mother fucker
nature has been raped enough
have I gotten your attention?
do I have to be so rough?

you ignore the peaceful prophets
you abuse the kind and meek
you refuse the truth before you
you say turn the other cheek

but your attention’s what I seek
and I won’t get through if I am boring
so shock-words are the words I speak
you’re an expert at ignoring

so now that I have your attention
what are you going to do
spend another day raping your mother
complaining that I offend you

or will you pull your head out of the sand
and open your eyes to what’s true
how many more children will you let die
before you try something new?

the way of the world is not working
the message is not getting through
the prophets have come, the prophets have gone
and we still don’t know what to do

the way of the world is not working
how do I get this through to you?
condemn me if it makes you feel any better
but listen to what’s really true

something o'clock

Her Song

this song's for you

I just want to know
how your day begins
do you rush to the children
do you cuddle with him

do you drag yourself creeping
or love where you are found
do you think of what's missing
or cherish what's around

I just want to know
how you spent your noon
are you watching the tele
are you singing a tune

do you manage your meetings
does your work bring your smile
would you have just a moment
to walk one more mile

I just want to know
how do you feel
what is forgotten
and what is real

for deep in my heart
you'll always have home
whatever you're doing
wherever you roam

I wake up wondering
about all the love
the love I have given
the love I dream of

the love that's still waiting
for someone to share
and how you are doing
cuz I'll always care

if you're ever lonely
or feeling despair
if you need anything
you have a friend here

I hope you are happy
and dreams have come true
and maybe you're smiling
knowing
this song's for you

I just want to know
how your day ends
are you relaxing
is sleep a friend

do you have empty space
s for an old memory
do you ever stop caring
do you think of me

and the love that's still waiting
for someone to share
without hesitating
just living to care

may you never be lonely
or feeling despair
but if you need anything
you have a friend here

I hope you are happy
and dreams have come true
and maybe you're smiling
knowing
this song's for you

2004-05-01 10:50 p.m.

Ode to Toronto

Ode to Toronto 4:02 a.m.

precious place
in spite of the hell
I found there

heaven's grace
in spite of the one
worst-case fear

eyes and face
haunt me when I sleep
when I dream
when I wake

out of place
out of time
point of break

and just like the late show
I passed that point long ago
along with Jackson Browne
and Harry Chapin
Croche, Stevens, John, Joel, and the telling
if roadkill could feel
it would be too real

I just wanted you to know
of a
precious place
Toronto

oh Toronto, such a dream you were
froze me out one bitter December
oh Toronto, I remember her
and the kids, all we did
never ends
oh Toronto, holding my best friends
and worst enemies
taught me of the birds and the bees
and cruelties
oh Toronto, I dream I'm still there
is it a nightmare?
Toronto
my dear
Toronto
I'm still here
you're still there
Toronto
everywhere

the soundtrack of a life
plays in a broken loop
somewhere in time
far away
kept away
such a crime

and just like the late show
I passed that point long ago
along with Sarah Mac
and Tom Chapin
Denver, fill in the blanks and the telling
like the Hotel California
desperado never left ya
cant forget ya

and wherever I go
I just wanted you to know
of a
precious place
Toronto

I just wanted you to know
I still love you
Toronto

- Ode

Shared illusion

look into my eyes and you may begin to see
and if not, ask until you find what you are looking for
but if you want to know the truth that makes me
me you'll have to lose your mind and open every door
trust unconditionally as you never have before
leave behind everything you know
and let go

or we could just agree to pretend...

perhaps that is what it means to be human... and why we write fairy tales
and stories of great experiences and wonders... to reach for the
belonging that comes from complete sharing, complete understanding,
complete bonding, being one with each other... to know the peace of
such trust... perhaps words are a way to a truly universal god-like
experience...

even if it is all just shared illusion.

2004-12-07

Passing by

and I don't have time to feel
and I don't have time to cry
I only have time to laugh
and watch the time passing by

I only have time to laugh
at life as time keeps passing by

I only have time to laugh at life
and watch the time pass by

the TV calls my name
my roommate asks for more
and work demands my time
so I can go to the store
and buy food to cook
and things to use
to keep myself alive
but I wonder about living
as I struggle to survive
I know there's more to life than this
I could not tell you why
I just have time to laugh and watch
as time passes me by

2004-10-25

the charge is: apathy

we should all be arrested
based on our moral laws
the holiest religious man
preach a word that never was
cuz we do not actualize it
we pretend to be good
human beings are parasites
and i wish that i could
say "no, not me"
but i too am swallowed by apathy

living on the edge is the song that plays
shame is hardly felt these days
as connected as the world can be
with mass media and satellite tv
this story hardly made the news
nobody wants to walk in those shoes
i wish i could say, no, not me
but the truth is the truth
even if i don't want to see
we live the crime of apathy

November 25, 2008

Desperation's Child

I walked the stones with Jesus
felt the crushing cross
I drank hemlock with Socrates
and barely felt the loss
I saw the stars with Nicolai
and saw the world go 'round
and felt the condemnation of
the people that I found

stare into the fire
see the dancing flame
minutes become hours
nobody's to blame
everyone's just afraid
to admit or face fear
so sacrifice the truth sayers
so no one is aware

we're all just selfish children
looking out for our own
never finding what we're looking for
cuz it can't be found alone
we're all just lonely children
bitter about our fate
but let's pretend that we don't die
as if the truth can wait

I felt the fire with Moses
and carved the words in stone
I touched the stars with Pericles
and took the fall alone
I saw energy with Albert E.
saw beyond time and space
and felt the emptiness swallow
the hope of the human race

and all there was left
was insecurity
fear of everything
no identity
everyone just gives up
because everyone else does
and pretend the truth sayers
message never was

we're all just selfish children
looking out for our own
never finding what we're looking for
cuz it can't be found alone
we're all just lonely children
bitter about our fate
but let's pretend that it's alright
as if the truth can wait

and I sang with John and Paul
watched the tears, heard the screams
and I prayed with every Pope
felt the fears, felt the need
I am desperation's child
nothing left to say
once I grew free and wild
then I was defiled
now I slowly fade away
I am desperation's child
nothing left to say

-2004

Conversion

she plays a dangerous game
with a lot of trap doors
she doesn't give a name
she just asks for more
she takes you deep inside
and her seductions complete
you're left defenseless
set for defeat

then she asks you to change your whole life
and way of thinking
and you wonder what you've been smoking
what you've been drinking

she plays a passionate game
with a smile so sweet
she gives her body away
if you will be discreet
she takes you deep inside
her seductions complete
you're left defenseless
set for defeat

then she asks you to change your whole world
and way of believing
and you wonder what you've been doing
what you've been receiving

her body's a temple
and you've walked right in
but to stay with her
conversion begins
embrace her religion
or she'll walk away
if only she mentioned that
yesterday

she plays a spiritual game
that starts with falling in love
she gives you ecstasy
all you've been dreaming of
she takes you deep inside
her seductions complete
you're left defenseless
set for defeat

then she asks you to change your whole world
and way of living
and you wonder what you've been getting
what you've been giving

she plays an amazing game
her beauty melts your heart
her passion burns you up
but that is just the start
she takes you deep inside
her seductions complete
you're left defenseless
set for defeat

then she asks you to change your whole world
and way of being
and you wonder what you've been loving
what you've been seeing

her body's a temple
and you've walked right in
but to stay with her
conversion begins
embrace her religion
or she'll walk away
if only she mentioned that
yesterday
2000

She was beautiful ...

she was beautiful
the strongest voice
and I fell in love
I had no choice

she came to my town
and took care of me
I pushed her away
so she wouldn't see
the scars on my soul
the hate in my heart
for all I had lost
had torn me apart

I blamed everyone
who gave me a smile
I cursed every hand
who had any style
I dug in my heels
and would not let go
of the hate I could feel
that's all I could know

she was beautiful
the strongest voice
and I fell in love
I had no choice

she washed out my wounds
offered me comfort
tried to relieve me
of all my hurt
I was too far gone
oh what can I say
the harder she'd try
the harder I'd push her away

nobody knows
how it came to blows
blood pressure rose
that's how blood flows
nobody cared
to understand
now I'm in the can
and she's part of the land

she was beautiful
but the strongest voice
was the hate inside me see
... I had no choice

Punch 'n Judy

Mystery Men

I wonder who they are
these mystery men
that scare up a storm
then vanish again

I wonder where they are
these offensive beasts
who steal innocence
and laugh at the feasts

I wonder what they are
these villians of time
who haunt the spaces
of yesterday's minds

I wonder when they are
trying to take control
and how the prophets know
their cruel secret goal

I wonder why they are
so very hard to see
maybe they don't exist
except in fantasy
1998 / 2000

The Givers

so who counsels the counselor
when the rains falls in her mind
who brings warmth to the poet
when he's run out of rhyme
who embraces the infant
when she just cries and cries
who really cares if life is
a stacked deck full of lies

so who comforts the parent
when the kids all feel need
who brings food to the artist
when he paints what he bleeds
who will hold the baby
who always wants to be held
who will make sense of it
when nothing seems to meld

who welcomes the alien
when he is from nowhere
who brings wine to the singer
when her voice isn't clear
who is true in their heart
are you in love or fear
who won't abandon truth
just to fit in here

1999

Let Her Go

she doesn't know how to love you
she just knows how to use
she hides in her black hole
she was abused
she is not completely to blame
she is confused
she thinks cuz she is scarred
she is excused

she knows how to be beautiful
how to play on your needs
she doesn't read the same books
everyone reads
she lives by her own rules
thinks that all men are fools
tells herself she can do anything
because she bleeds

she doesn't know what love is
but she knows how to seduce you
she opens her black hole
and you fall right in
she is not completely at fault
original sin
she depends on your desires
and you think you win

she knows how to be irresistible
how to play on your needs
she doesn't read the same books
everyone reads
she lives by her own rules
thinks that all men are fools
she blames you for her pain
because she bleeds

let her go
before you are lost inside
the black hole of her fires

let her go
before you have lost yourself
in your own secret desires

let her go
before it's too late to know
where you end and where she begins

let her go
cuz you're gonna lose
thinking you win
2000

Song for the Control Freaks

Will you please just fuck yourself
and stop fucking with me
I don't want your grief
and you say you don't want mine
so stop trying to change me
and I'll leave you alone
it's hard enough to make it
in this world out on my own

I don't need your rules
I don't need your corrections
I don't need your judgments
I don't need your doubts

I don't need your duels
I don't need your rejections
I don't need your nudges
I don't need your shouts

I don't need your anger
I don't need your fear
I don't need your worries
can I be more clear?
I don't need you here

so will you please take care of yourself
and stop taking it out on me
I don't want your grief
and you say you don't want mine
so stop trying to control me
and I'll leave you alone
it's hard enough to make it
in this world out on my own

you don't own me
stop acting like you do
you don't rule me
stop telling me what to do
you don't have your own life together
so stop trying to get into mine
we're different findamentally
that's the bottom line

so why can't you accept it
why do you keep trying
to sell me your rule book
don't you see I'm not buying
you can get as upset as you like
but you can't control me
so will you please just fuck yourself
and stop fucking with me

I don't need your rules
I don't need your corrections
I don't need your judgments
I don't need your doubts

I don't need your duels
I don't need your rejections
I don't need your nudges
I don't need your shouts

I don't need your anger
I don't need your fear
I don't need your worries
can I be more clear?
I don't need you here

no matter what you do or say
I won't be the way you want me to be
so will you please just fuck yourself
and stop fucking with me
2000