the charge is: apathy

we should all be arrested
based on our moral laws
the holiest religious man
preach a word that never was
cuz we do not actualize it
we pretend to be good
human beings are parasites
and i wish that i could
say "no, not me"
but i too am swallowed by apathy

living on the edge is the song that plays
shame is hardly felt these days
as connected as the world can be
with mass media and satellite tv
this story hardly made the news
nobody wants to walk in those shoes
i wish i could say, no, not me
but the truth is the truth
even if i don't want to see
we live the crime of apathy

November 25, 2008

Desperation's Child

I walked the stones with Jesus
felt the crushing cross
I drank hemlock with Socrates
and barely felt the loss
I saw the stars with Nicolai
and saw the world go 'round
and felt the condemnation of
the people that I found

stare into the fire
see the dancing flame
minutes become hours
nobody's to blame
everyone's just afraid
to admit or face fear
so sacrifice the truth sayers
so no one is aware

we're all just selfish children
looking out for our own
never finding what we're looking for
cuz it can't be found alone
we're all just lonely children
bitter about our fate
but let's pretend that we don't die
as if the truth can wait

I felt the fire with Moses
and carved the words in stone
I touched the stars with Pericles
and took the fall alone
I saw energy with Albert E.
saw beyond time and space
and felt the emptiness swallow
the hope of the human race

and all there was left
was insecurity
fear of everything
no identity
everyone just gives up
because everyone else does
and pretend the truth sayers
message never was

we're all just selfish children
looking out for our own
never finding what we're looking for
cuz it can't be found alone
we're all just lonely children
bitter about our fate
but let's pretend that it's alright
as if the truth can wait

and I sang with John and Paul
watched the tears, heard the screams
and I prayed with every Pope
felt the fears, felt the need
I am desperation's child
nothing left to say
once I grew free and wild
then I was defiled
now I slowly fade away
I am desperation's child
nothing left to say

-2004

Conversion

she plays a dangerous game
with a lot of trap doors
she doesn't give a name
she just asks for more
she takes you deep inside
and her seductions complete
you're left defenseless
set for defeat

then she asks you to change your whole life
and way of thinking
and you wonder what you've been smoking
what you've been drinking

she plays a passionate game
with a smile so sweet
she gives her body away
if you will be discreet
she takes you deep inside
her seductions complete
you're left defenseless
set for defeat

then she asks you to change your whole world
and way of believing
and you wonder what you've been doing
what you've been receiving

her body's a temple
and you've walked right in
but to stay with her
conversion begins
embrace her religion
or she'll walk away
if only she mentioned that
yesterday

she plays a spiritual game
that starts with falling in love
she gives you ecstasy
all you've been dreaming of
she takes you deep inside
her seductions complete
you're left defenseless
set for defeat

then she asks you to change your whole world
and way of living
and you wonder what you've been getting
what you've been giving

she plays an amazing game
her beauty melts your heart
her passion burns you up
but that is just the start
she takes you deep inside
her seductions complete
you're left defenseless
set for defeat

then she asks you to change your whole world
and way of being
and you wonder what you've been loving
what you've been seeing

her body's a temple
and you've walked right in
but to stay with her
conversion begins
embrace her religion
or she'll walk away
if only she mentioned that
yesterday
2000

She was beautiful ...

she was beautiful
the strongest voice
and I fell in love
I had no choice

she came to my town
and took care of me
I pushed her away
so she wouldn't see
the scars on my soul
the hate in my heart
for all I had lost
had torn me apart

I blamed everyone
who gave me a smile
I cursed every hand
who had any style
I dug in my heels
and would not let go
of the hate I could feel
that's all I could know

she was beautiful
the strongest voice
and I fell in love
I had no choice

she washed out my wounds
offered me comfort
tried to relieve me
of all my hurt
I was too far gone
oh what can I say
the harder she'd try
the harder I'd push her away

nobody knows
how it came to blows
blood pressure rose
that's how blood flows
nobody cared
to understand
now I'm in the can
and she's part of the land

she was beautiful
but the strongest voice
was the hate inside me see
... I had no choice

Punch 'n Judy

Mystery Men

I wonder who they are
these mystery men
that scare up a storm
then vanish again

I wonder where they are
these offensive beasts
who steal innocence
and laugh at the feasts

I wonder what they are
these villians of time
who haunt the spaces
of yesterday's minds

I wonder when they are
trying to take control
and how the prophets know
their cruel secret goal

I wonder why they are
so very hard to see
maybe they don't exist
except in fantasy
1998 / 2000

The Givers

so who counsels the counselor
when the rains falls in her mind
who brings warmth to the poet
when he's run out of rhyme
who embraces the infant
when she just cries and cries
who really cares if life is
a stacked deck full of lies

so who comforts the parent
when the kids all feel need
who brings food to the artist
when he paints what he bleeds
who will hold the baby
who always wants to be held
who will make sense of it
when nothing seems to meld

who welcomes the alien
when he is from nowhere
who brings wine to the singer
when her voice isn't clear
who is true in their heart
are you in love or fear
who won't abandon truth
just to fit in here

1999

Let Her Go

she doesn't know how to love you
she just knows how to use
she hides in her black hole
she was abused
she is not completely to blame
she is confused
she thinks cuz she is scarred
she is excused

she knows how to be beautiful
how to play on your needs
she doesn't read the same books
everyone reads
she lives by her own rules
thinks that all men are fools
tells herself she can do anything
because she bleeds

she doesn't know what love is
but she knows how to seduce you
she opens her black hole
and you fall right in
she is not completely at fault
original sin
she depends on your desires
and you think you win

she knows how to be irresistible
how to play on your needs
she doesn't read the same books
everyone reads
she lives by her own rules
thinks that all men are fools
she blames you for her pain
because she bleeds

let her go
before you are lost inside
the black hole of her fires

let her go
before you have lost yourself
in your own secret desires

let her go
before it's too late to know
where you end and where she begins

let her go
cuz you're gonna lose
thinking you win
2000

Song for the Control Freaks

Will you please just fuck yourself
and stop fucking with me
I don't want your grief
and you say you don't want mine
so stop trying to change me
and I'll leave you alone
it's hard enough to make it
in this world out on my own

I don't need your rules
I don't need your corrections
I don't need your judgments
I don't need your doubts

I don't need your duels
I don't need your rejections
I don't need your nudges
I don't need your shouts

I don't need your anger
I don't need your fear
I don't need your worries
can I be more clear?
I don't need you here

so will you please take care of yourself
and stop taking it out on me
I don't want your grief
and you say you don't want mine
so stop trying to control me
and I'll leave you alone
it's hard enough to make it
in this world out on my own

you don't own me
stop acting like you do
you don't rule me
stop telling me what to do
you don't have your own life together
so stop trying to get into mine
we're different findamentally
that's the bottom line

so why can't you accept it
why do you keep trying
to sell me your rule book
don't you see I'm not buying
you can get as upset as you like
but you can't control me
so will you please just fuck yourself
and stop fucking with me

I don't need your rules
I don't need your corrections
I don't need your judgments
I don't need your doubts

I don't need your duels
I don't need your rejections
I don't need your nudges
I don't need your shouts

I don't need your anger
I don't need your fear
I don't need your worries
can I be more clear?
I don't need you here

no matter what you do or say
I won't be the way you want me to be
so will you please just fuck yourself
and stop fucking with me
2000

i

i may have lost my senses

i probably lost my mind

i forgot how to understand

i learned how to be blind

i felt myself go under

i think i was unkind

and i destroyed the very thing

i set out to find

October 31, 2008